![]() ![]() It looks good to have a student president. WHIRRING CONTINUES GRUNTS Come on, come on, come on WHIRRING STOPS Naomi Can you give me a lift on your bike? It's all part of her grand love note to Ofsted. Oh, yes! Would you believe it only cost me £2.ĥ0? And three tokens from the top of Weetabix packets. Oh! CLEARS THROAT CAR ENGINE WHIRRS This is some automobile you've got here. I I was going to ask you if you wanted a lift. LAUGHS Too pussy to take a chance, little girl. You couldn't make me feel all right if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood on a cement mixer. You? President? Why do people keep saying that? Me, president. Problem? Um No, no Fantastic, a two-horse race! Yes! Let the best man win. ![]() Like Prince, Madonna, Cher, Lemar Only Crispin.Īnd, uh, what are your policies, Crispin? A tightening of college selection procedure.Īll right, Doug? Is this where you register to be president, yeah? You? President? Yeah, man. I'm not going to - Guaranteed a shag! - What? - Name? - Crispin. You've got about as much chance of fucking me as becoming the elected student president of this dump. ![]() Know what I'm saying? Excuse me? Go to it? Yeah. So the idea that you know I'm always talking about anything is ridiculous. We've had about three conversations our entire lives. What stuff? Equality, environmentalism, feminism, I don't ever want to shut my mouth-ism Great. I don't get it, why not? You really care about this stuff. The election is next week, so if you wish to stand, please see Doug after assembly.Ĭan I just I've got a whole rhyme worked out for that bit No.ĭigging, and I'm awfully nasty about the Welsh. This will be a democratically empowered position for a talented individual to proactively seek excellence in matters of student representation.Īnd you, my little education consumers, will choose this president by vote. No But I'm not finished! - Yes, you are! Let's put it to a vote! Bit of theatre, you know Impact. Thank you, Doug, fascinating introduction. Hey! SCREAMING THUNDER BOOMS In ancient times before the now There was an almighty blazing row Between two kingdoms tall and proud How to decide this without blood? Right, settle down everyone. Shut up! GIRLS GIGGLING Then you've got the shaft of your penis Naomi. Good Weekend by Art Brut What's going on there? Nothing. You're gonna like this - Like what? You'll find out Just be there, missy. See you in assembly Our glorious leader has summoned us all. Hope for us all, eh? Right so, that's me. Made you, didn't she? Although, apparently Fred West's daughter's a charm. ![]() I've got 15 people living in my house, and none are paying rent! Still, can't be all bad. Sometimes she's only halfway up, which is neither up nor down.Īnd the Mother Nature thing is getting tired. It's called communal living, sweetie God! You're so irritating! Kids Immature Love Action by Human League Hi.īesides, this is hardly an appointment, is it? Kept behind by Cruella De Ville.Īnd what did the college director want? To send me on a motivation course The Feeling, Healing Teaching Programme.įuck's sake! And guess what? I fucking hate teaching! So how's your mum? Still saving the world one lentil at a time? Well, you know Sometimes she's up. In my bed, Mum! He had nowhere else to go. Look at this would you, love? We're thinking of banning it from the group shopping lists. Mum! Has anyone ever told you what a complete fucking cow you are? Plenty of people. Mum! - I can see why you find it offensive. You've even got the same haircut she had. Mum! Mum! Who the hell does she think she is? This is bloody ridiculous! Does nobody understand privacy? I'm naked. Sweetheart, isn't she? Even if she doesn't believe I'm the messiah. What the fuck?! Huh? Jesus Christ! Who the fuck are you?! I'm a friend of your mum's I had nowhere to kip. ![]()
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